The RSVP

I RSVP'd to my own bridal shower this week.

My mother and bridesmaids tried to keep it a surprise shower, but a girl has to know when to wear her new party dress. Plus, I hate surprises -- it's a control thing. And it's tough to keep a secret from a reporter anyway. So, they had mercy and let me in on the plans by sending me the gorgeous, shimmery invitation in the mail a few days before the big event.

I was so excited to get this. The invitation goes with our beach destination wedding theme perfectly, and I just know that my girls went above and beyond to make it a fabulous day for me. I can't wait to see what they've come up with.

I also found out that my girls had to scour the Earth for invitees who did not have the courtesy to RSVP. I've had this invitation etiquette issue with parties we have planned and even with our wedding invitations. And it's not that our friends are particularly careless -- I've read about this problem in plenty of Bridal magazines.

It's so frustrating for the hosts-- especially when there is a stamped return envelope and an RSVP card included with the invitations. If someone is nice enough to invite me to an event, I always RSVP to let them know if I will attend, or to express regrets and say thank you for the invite when I can't attend.

So, what do you do when people haven't RSVP'd? Do you assume that they aren't attending or do you hunt them down with a call or email to get a definite answer?

I emailed guests who did not RSVP to our wedding -- and some guests told me verbally they could not attend, which is fine, of course. But still, some haven't bothered to respond whatsoever. I would love to hear some thoughts on this one.